Let me preface this by saying that I am an adult. (Sometimes.) I’ve had full-time jobs, and I have lived in my own apartment. The apartment, however, was five minutes from where I grew up. I like where I grew up, so this was not a problem for me. And though I went away to college two hours away from where I grew up, I’ve never actually LIVED any distance from home. College is completely isolated and different. In three weeks, that is changing. I am moving an hour and a half for my new job. And I am scared (good scared, I think, but still scared).
1) Finding a new place. Luckily, I’m not too bad at this. My past two apartments I’ve known the second that I walked in to the room that they were for me. Before that, though, I visited dozens of places. The anxiety of not knowing where you’re going to live is unbearable.
2) New living expenses. The place I am moving to has a MUCH higher rate of living than my old place. Except my new job? Doesn’t really reflect that. So now I am looking at all of these new expenses and wondering how I am going to afford them. And still have time for fun things (like going to New York to see Broadway!).
3) The process of moving. How will I get everything packed up? Will it all fit? How are we going to move it all, just me and my parents? Will it do me in? Why isn’t moving easier?!!?
4) Everything is new. The people I work with. The places I will shop and eat. The roads I drive. The weather. I don’y know what to expect. And for a creature of habit, like me, that is really terrifying.
5) Being away from my family. I love my family. My mother is my best friend (don’t tell her I told you that). I liked being able to drive home and spend time with them when I had a bad day. Now… I won’t have that freedom. No more dinners with my mom, no more bar trivia with my brother. It sucks.
6) Meeting new people. I am an introvert. Painfully so. This is the scariest thing for me. Will I find anyone who wants to hang out with me? Who I will want to hang out with? Will I be too awkward? Will I be too lonely?
I’m excited about the move, I really am. But my anxiety-ridden brain has been thinking through these over and over again.
As a sidenote, for the next month, my blogging, and my interacting on blogs, might be sparse. I am going to try my best, but my mental health comes first. And right now, I think I need to focus on getting started with this new phase in my life.